Halloween - Emily

I am a strong eighteen year old woman. I attend the number two party school in the nation. And my school is the place to be during the week of Halloween. People flock from all around Ohio to just stay one night in the city, and celebrate a holiday based on candy companies and being someone you can never be.  Girls take hours getting ready to display their creative costumes, and guys cant wait to actually drink the beer that came out of the box they have spray painted black.  The school also makes an unbelievable amount of money charging guests who want to stay for the weekend twenty five dollars.  These guests will not take a shower or even turn on the lights. Instead, they will pass out on the cold tiled floor of their friend's cubicle... I mean room.  


I am a mixture of samhainophobic and maskaphobic. 


I am terrified of Halloween, which is rather ironic because I attend a school that lives, breathes, eats, and shits Halloween. More specifically, I am terrified of masks. I cannot stand next to anyone in  a mask. I cannot watch someone put on a mask. I cannot be near someone in a mask. It freaks me out. I begin to shake uncontrollably, and feel as if I am going to completely regurgitate the lack of food in my stomach. It could be because I want to know who is talking to me, or because I like to watch people's mouths when they talk. It could be because mask's mouths do not move, or even because masks deform people's identities. 


The last reason could be because of my past. When I was younger, My grandfather decided it would be a great idea to walk through our dark wooded backyard wearing a skeleton mask. It was alright, until I saw him peer in through the corner of my eye. I turned around to the large bay window that looked into the darkness of our backyard, and I saw a tall, stout man with a bloody skeleton mask. His hair was silver and down to his shoulders. He disappeared into the darkness. At this point I was screaming for my parents. The man jumped up in front of where I was standing near the window and I screamed. 


We still have that mask. Every year, one of my family members thinks that it is hilarious to wear that mask around the house. Every year I get more and more afraid of masks, and more and more sure about staying indoors during Halloween. 


This is my irony. This is my life.