Wasted Washington. Thats what they call us. I am not the one to go out every night and party. In fact, I'd rather stay in the dorms with some of my crazy friends.
I believe the night started at about 11:30 when a girl, who recently drank herself into a coma, was carried home by a few very nice men. This girl was like a human doll. She was dead weight. If you were to completely scrape out someone's insides, but leave the bones and skin, fill the body with the same amount of weight as before, and use this new creation as a doll, you would have this girl. I'm not going to say how dumb this girl is because she now knows never to go out alone and drink same amount as the large man besides her. I would just like to take the time to appreciate the wonderful people I live with. Our RA's and RC are the most fantastic people I've ever met. They function in the worst situations on less than two hours of sleep. They must deal with at least twenty teenage girls or boys, talk to us about things that would embarrass our parents, and keep a straight face in times of severe emergency. These people are the strongest and most dedicated college students I've ever met.
Now back to the point, Wasted Washington.
That same night, our hall council decided to sell grilled cheese and hot dogs to unsuspecting drunks at two in the morning. This went from midnight to three in the morning. It began as a great activity, we were running around, getting orders ready, smiling, laughing, dancing, and glad we caught the waves of students high on our local drug of choice. Then we had a lull. People were either too drunk, or too broke to afford our one dollar hot dogs or grilled cheese.
This all changed when Walker came downstairs. Walker is a very attractive, and now very drunk, resident of our hall. Walker decided that because the food was very delicious and he was very hungry (partially due to the fact that he had nothing in his stomach because five minutes earlier, he vomited up all of his delicious cafeteria food). Walker proceeds from the staircase to the tables and asks for a grilled cheese, we respond, and begin to make his order. In the mean time, he is talking up a storm.
He praises us on the condition of our grilled cheese. And we all giggle. Next, he figures out that we were playing the questions game.
*Side Note* The questions game is defined as such : Everyone who is playing will make up several questions to put in a bowl. The questions can be awkward, sexual, disgusting, random, or emotional. Every person makes up as many questions as possible. After all of the questions are submitted, the bowl is placed in the middle of a circle, and one person draws a question. Everyone in the circle answers this question, and then the next person picks the question. This is repeated until no more questions are left in the bowl. *End of Side Note*
Walker then draws a few bad questions, and begs us to make up a good one for him. So of course, someone yells out "sexual fantasy".
"Ok. Now. My sexual fantasy is to have a girl on me, and I'm laying down, and she's sitting up. And she has this box of Cheese Its. So she is sitting there, throwing Cheese Its into my mouth. And I'd be like, "Thank you Cheese It girl! Thank you!"
Yes. Someone actually said that. But it gets better.
As he is thanking us for providing him with his grilled cheese, he shakes everyone's hands, but then as he says goodbye, he decides that our hall is a hugging hall not a handshake hall. He hugs everyone around the lobby, and then gives us the following speech:
"While I have to go now, I'd love to be a part of this great club you all have. If your meetings are on Sundays at nine, just like you said, I can be there. Just give me a call. Just call Walker Anderson, and I'll be there. No. Call me once, No, call me twice. Because I'll be on my way. Good night. And good luck."
Before he returned back to his room, we all gave him a round of applause and he donated a dollar to our hall council so he did not have "itchy toilet paper on his tush".
I love college.
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