I know they are out there.
At least I'm fairly sure they are.
Have you ever believed in something? I mean not the kind of "I believed in Santa as a kid" but "I believe in creationism or evolution" kind of belief.
Well I believe with my whole entire heart that there is someone out there for me. I believe the love of my life is waiting with the same belief that I'm here for them.
I don't know why I think about this...obsess about this, but I have since I can remember. When I was younger I used to have dreams of finding a person like this, I felt better than I ever have in my entire life. I remember trying to skip school just to keep dreaming that wonderful dream.
I'm not sure why this is, or if I'm the only one who has such a strong desire for the perfect love. It kind of gets in the way of my life, so if you do I'm sorry! I've rejected so many people because I just don't feel that connection. I watch t.v. shows and movies and see people fake those connections so flawlessly, I wish I could fake as easily as them.
I'm 20, I'm young, and for the first time in my life I don't know what I want...all I know is I want something.
I crave the feeling of looking after someone, yet I've never had someone to look after me. I've thought about looking on dating sites, I get advice like "put yourself out there" I've tried harder than anything to do this. I've tried losing weight, changing my hair, changing my clothes...people say "Bri, you are beautiful" If I'm beautiful, and so great, where are all the possible suitors. I see my friends get people like it's nothing...here I am lonely.
At the moment I've decided to give Raymond another chance, but do I feel loved? Not really... Do I feel that connection I crave? Not really... I love him, but what kind of love is it? I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
life.
Bri
At least I'm fairly sure they are.
Have you ever believed in something? I mean not the kind of "I believed in Santa as a kid" but "I believe in creationism or evolution" kind of belief.
Well I believe with my whole entire heart that there is someone out there for me. I believe the love of my life is waiting with the same belief that I'm here for them.
I don't know why I think about this...obsess about this, but I have since I can remember. When I was younger I used to have dreams of finding a person like this, I felt better than I ever have in my entire life. I remember trying to skip school just to keep dreaming that wonderful dream.
I'm not sure why this is, or if I'm the only one who has such a strong desire for the perfect love. It kind of gets in the way of my life, so if you do I'm sorry! I've rejected so many people because I just don't feel that connection. I watch t.v. shows and movies and see people fake those connections so flawlessly, I wish I could fake as easily as them.
I'm 20, I'm young, and for the first time in my life I don't know what I want...all I know is I want something.
I crave the feeling of looking after someone, yet I've never had someone to look after me. I've thought about looking on dating sites, I get advice like "put yourself out there" I've tried harder than anything to do this. I've tried losing weight, changing my hair, changing my clothes...people say "Bri, you are beautiful" If I'm beautiful, and so great, where are all the possible suitors. I see my friends get people like it's nothing...here I am lonely.
At the moment I've decided to give Raymond another chance, but do I feel loved? Not really... Do I feel that connection I crave? Not really... I love him, but what kind of love is it? I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
life.
Bri
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