It's taken me so long to write and I have muchto say but this post is first up because it happend a few weeks ago.
I remember the night I met Kayla. I was standing in my room in my sweats and up to no good. My. Amazing hallmates and I had been dying to have a dance party and set to have it in Em and my room on Saturday. It was only thursday but I was already preparing, giddy with anticipation of the exciting night. One of Emily and my really good friends Jenna was having Kayla stay the weekend to see campus. Let me start by saying Kayla is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on...and here I was in sweats and I probably hadn't showered yet that day...great. Jenna walked out of the room at one point and to my surprise I felt really nervous and excited around Kayla but I couldnt figure out why. The next day after classes we all went to jenna's basketball game. While sitting waiti g for the game I playfully asked my amazingly supportive friends if there were any cute girls on the team. Kayla acted like I had completely misspoken "you mean cute guys..." no I hadn't but I dropped the subject.
Meanwhile somepoint late in the night after a week of reconciling with Raymond he called to tell me he'd had a lapse in judgment and that he drank even when he promised he wouldn't he became very upset and took it out on me while I was trying to support him. He hung up on me and I spent the rest of the night sobbing sure he had committed suicide. Kayla who barely knew me heard my sobs and asked if I was okay and if I needed anything, I told her no and eventually found sleep
It was the night of the party and I had even invited a super cute guy I was crushing on, I dressed up really cute and all my friends helped set up the room. After Missy Elliot songs, glow brackets and a lot of failed toasting, several people became intoxicated...mainly Kayla. She came and kissed me on the cheek and yelled at me when I went to have a smoke(since I don't really drink) and when I came back she wanted to snuggle. This is dangerous I thought to myself...she is gorgeous sweet and utterly drunk. I tried to keep my distance but my arms shook as i held her in a friendly way. Suddenly my friend Jenna told me Kayla was bisexual and she wanted me. At first I was sure she was joking, but she wasn't. Someday somehow Kayla and I started to hook up. It was amazing I felt like we were thinking the same things I will spare details, but this girl was amazing: www stayed inseparable till around 4 in the morning when I sdly had to go to bed in my own room by myself. Kayla came back in the morning, we snuggled held hands and talked, her smile was contagious, my cheeks were hi hurrying. Kayla left that day but we talked on the phone everyday that week. There was something about Kayla that felt like she belonged in my life, I could see myself dating her, bringing her home to meet my family. She hasn't had an easy life, I wanted to show her she deserved one, that I would take care of her. I began to fall in love with her, every song reminded me of her ever laugh ever time I laid in my bed. Yet her heart belonged to someone else. She want able to be with the girl she loved to a lot of circumstances I still dont know or understand. I wanted her to be happy and realized this girl could make her happier than I could. She insisted she couldn't talk to the girl and that right how she really cared about me. Kayla is my first girl love. she makes me feel so good about myself and I can feel her care for me even through the phone...
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