End of Winter Quarter - Emily

This is really weird because I am writing this at two in the morning after drinking two cans of Coke and writing from 11:30 AM to 6:30 PM and then again from 12:00 AM to now. There are a couple of things I realized while sitting (alone) in the study lounge.


1. I really should be working on my paper.
2. Breaks from writing should NOT include more writing....
3. I have three more papers to write after this one...
4. And two tests to study for....
5. I literally do not have a social life.
6. I have not slept in over 20 hours.
7. Winter Quarter was the worst quarter of my life.
8. I can not wait to go home.
9. I kinda wish spring break was a bit longer.
10. .... And I have that review sheet to do....
11. Athens is pretty quiet for 2:30 in the morning.


I guess I am happy that Winter quarter is coming to a close. I can see Eliza, my family, and my dog. I can find what sleep is like again..... 


Well... I realize this is really short, but I know several people will KILL me if they know I was writing a lame blog post rather than writing a lame paper. 

Stickies - Emily

Bri and I have officially hit crazy rock bottom.....


Today, I decided to be a complete bitch and get the person who decided to cover the bathroom with instructional sticky notes back. While this may seem harmless, you should understand that we are surrounded by very PMSy girls and they are very vengeful. 


I walked into the bathroom armed with hot pink sticky notes and ideas galore... But before I could successfully complete my mission, Bri and I had to get rid of a girl.


Now this girl, Bella, is the LOUDEST most OBNOXIOUS girl in the world. She constantly screams in the middle of the hallway at the ass crack of dawn in the morning. It is disturbing. It is horrid. What makes me frustrated is that she has her OWN room around the corner. She and her friends could very well walk around the corner and sit on her spare bed and scream all they want. But they choose to CACKLE at ONE in the morning. 


So Bri and I quickly devised a plan. Bella was washing dishes at the dish washing sink. Bri and I took the last two stalls and began to execute our plan. 


Bri began talking about how she had the WORST diarrhea from the Chipotle she did not consume. Then The conversation continued like so:


Bri: Do you want to listen to some music?
Me: Sure!
Bri plays the weirdest spa music known to man kind. Why she has this music on her iPod... I have no idea, but it works.
Me: This is really good pooping music!
Bri: Do you want to hear better pooping music?
Me: SURE!
Bri: Ok! 
Bri then plays the WORST spa music known to man kind. This is hilarious. I start to giggle and pull up my pants...
Me: OH SHOOT! I forgot to put my pad on!
Bri: Thats okay I'm changing....


Bella then leaves the bathroom in a huff. I find this even more funny. 


My plan is now in action...
As soon as Bella left, I COVERED the bathroom with sticky notes saying "Don't forget to flush!" "It's okay to poop in this stall, everybody poops!" "You can only stand in this stall!" "Don't forget to wipe!" "You can hang your towels here!" And my personal favorite.... "Pee in here its dark!!!!"


This was amazing. Now for phase two... I have no idea what phase two is... but I will write about it.  

Lactose and Tolerant-Bri

Yes I do realize the correct statement is lactose intolerant, but a wee little Bri referred to 
her brother's dairy allergy as lactose and tolerant...if only that were the case.

You see folks, the jokes on me! All the years of making fun of the fact that my brother  

couldn't have the good chocolate milk, or spitting his gross soymilk all over the place, I have 

finally come to terms with the fact that I am lactose intolerant. Me...the dairitarian...the big 

cheese...the pro-milk...you get the picture. To me this disease (or rather not having a genetic 

mutation that allows me to digest lactase) is life threatening.

I've known I had the onset of lactose intolerance when I began getting terrible cramping 

stomach pains sometime last year. With all my ignorance with intolerance, I believed that 

this strange phenomena only occurred in young children and wrinkly fat old ladies. However, 

this assumption is entirely false (WARNING: NEVER LISTEN TO BRI'S ASSUMPTIONS 

THEY ALMOST ARE ALWAYS STUPID AND/OR WRONG).

"Em, it's going to be a long night...I ate mac and cheese and had sour cream on my fries.."

"BRI YOU'RE FREAKING LACTOSE INTOLERANT...WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EATING DAIRY?!?!?!"

"I'm hoping that if I ignore it, it'll just go away!"

So damn nieve, good thing I'm super adorable. But lemme tell you-thousands of trips to the 

bathroom in gut wrenching pain = not adorable at all. In fact, I became so incredibly used to 

these nightly after dinner detours I finished 100 levels of angry birds (and if you know me, 

then you know I only play angry birds whilst on the potty), have simply become part of my 

routine!

I have now decided that the fact my stomach always appears bloated 

eventhoughitrecievesacleansingclosetotheintensityofNiagrafallseachnight is due to the fact 

that I continue to eat dairy. Therefore, I have promised to discontinue my use of dairy in the 

hopes I will not reach level 209,399,203 in Angry Birds...and also to return to my skinny-jean-

wearing self!

Happy Eating!

Never Wear Bare Feet in the Rain - Emily & Bri

Emily:

It was 8:45 PM as I walked back from Chapter from one of the farthest buildings from my dorm room. It was raining cats and dogs, when I decided to take off my leather based sandals. I understood that water and leather do not go well together, so I decided to spare my shoes and risk stepping on several rocks, and stubbing my toes.

At about 9:00 PM My feet were okay until I stepped on some glass. At this time I just believed it was a rock, stuck on my foot, and I pulled it out. 

At 9:05 PM I kept walking the few yards to my dorm. I went up the stairs and reached my friends room. At this time, one girl from my hall said "Uhh... I think you are bleeding...."

9:10 PM At this time I looked down at my foot, and the puddle of blood in my friends room. I then hobbled to the bathroom giving instructions to each of my friends. Then Bri comes in....

Bri:

9:05 P.M- My hall council meeting gets out and we walk to the stair well. I'm in the back of the group but I hear people gasping. 

    
      Jenna- There is blood all over the steps!!

      Me- WHAT?? Shannon, SNIFF IT! (I didn't think she actually would)

      Shannon- (actually would) It doesn't smell like blood...and it kind of looks like jell-o...

9:08 P.M- We realize the blood goes all the way up to stairs, at which point we get the dorm administrators to call cleaners. We then proceed up the stairs following the blood to the third floor door.

    
         Jenna- It goes down the third floor hallway!! (aka our hallway)

9:09 P.M.-  I spot a girl coming from the bathroom.
      
        Me- Uhmm, do you know where these red foot prints came from??
        Girl- Yeah, your roommate's in the bathroom, she cut her foot.
Oh good lord. It would be em leaving behind a crime scene for me to follow. I begin to think there had been a lot of blood...I immediately take off in a panicked run to the bathroom.
         Me-EMMMMM!!! ARE YOU OKAY!!!




          This is where our stories intertwine. Emily is sitting in the shower area of the dorm's communal restroom surrounded by piles of bloodied tissues, clorox cleaning wipes, and rubber gloves.
        
        Em- I'm fine! I just stepped on some glass when I was walking home, no big deal...mom says as              long as the bleeding stopped I'm fine!
        
       Me- Okay, just let me look at the cut (after all I've been a lifeguard for five years now).


It was deep, but not super deep, and it didn't look as thought there was any glass inside of it. She seemed slightly in shock but other than that she seemed fine. Although the incident scared both of us...one tetanus shot later it was over!


Moral of this story...NEVER WEAR BARE FEET IN THE RAIN!

You Have Entered the WAR ZONE - Emily

I have to admit, the start of winter quarter was a tough one. Not only did someone urinate on Bri's bed at the ass crack of dawn in the morning... but Bri and I have been having some problems. I admit, I was wrong during many of these arguments and I apologize about anything I may have said or thought through these moments. Not only has this quarter been rough socially, but I have had the WORST writer's block EVER. I have not been able to write anything for pleasure, blog about anything, and I am procrastinating in writing my ten to fifteen page paper due in about two weeks. But this week. Everything has turned around.

First... Bri and I rearranged the room. My bed is now lofted, and Bri's bed and desk are under my lofted bed. While the process was very difficult - my bed wound up in the hallway at one point - we laughed. A LOT.

Second.... it has been monsooning all week. Not even kidding. We have been under a flood warning for the past three days. Yet- Class has yet to be cancelled. 

Last... The war has continued. 

Bri and I started this Febreze and Shower war at the start of Winter quarter. 

Part I. The more Febreze your opponent is covered in at the end of their trip to drop the kids off at the pool, the more the other person wins.

Part II. The goal of the shower war is to terrify your victim half to death by ripping the curtain to one side quickly and silently. The more scared your victim is, the funnier the game becomes. Also, the more unsuspecting your victim is, the better.

Today, I decided to return fire. While Bri was peeing.... I was under the assumption she was making a BM because the whole bathroom was talking about dropping a load ... I filled the whole bathroom with Febreze. She yelled, and I giggled. Second, I tiptoed into the shower area and grabbed the shower curtain to scare the living daylights out of Bri. While I was excited, I am fairly terrified of when I take a shower sometime next week. I know its coming. So now I am devising a plan to get her back. 

If Life Gives You Lemons, Eat Them and Say People's Names

Here are some valuable things I've learned this quarter...


1) Em and I still love Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn...I'm honestly surprised I don't poop white...
2) Em secretly grows horns and turns into the spawn of satan when she gets her period... :P
3) When boys talk to you, they only want sex, if you don't/can't give it to them...they stop talking to you.
4) Taking care of someone when they're sick only gets you called mom...not laid...
5) An ex-boyfriends arm's are the most comfortable thing to fall into...
6) I could be on "True Life: I'm addicted to playing angry birds while pooping"
7) The commercials when the people talk about autism effecting closer and closer aspects of their lives reminds me of how I feel about strange facial hair....The guy sitting next to me at dinner is close enough!
8) I love twinkle lights...even when it's not winter...
9) I'm done believing in perfect matches
10) I really wish I were more fashionable...
11) I like apple flavored anything!
12) I GET NAKED ALL THE TIME!


This I will elaborate on. Around a fort night ago I took two Tylenol PM and decided to run into my friend's room. This is all good, but then all of the sudden I hazily decide to take off ALL OF MY CLOTHES. Excuse me??!! What was I doing? I honestly don't know. THEN I start to do naked yoga! and some of my friends joined me...clothed....I think this describes the point I've gotten to in my life. Yum.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go eat smartpopcorn while playing angry birds before I talk to my ex Raymond, who is now not my ex anymore...oops...
Anddd take some Tylenol PM

Winter Quarter- Bri

"For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen"


These particular lyrics, from the song "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe, come to mind when I think about winter quarter.


I faintly remember fall quarter being cautioned of the woes of winter quarter. Somehow, during fall I felt infallible and that big bad winter quarter could not tackle the amazing college experience I was having. Boy was I wrong.


Winter quarter began with the "Mysterious Incident of the Piss in the Nighttime". A traumatic event no doubt, but yet it continued to get worse. Em and I began getting on each other's last nerves. A particular incident with our bean bag nearly cost me my shin as well as my sanity. Lets just say I was through with winter quarter before it even began.


I also began to realize the classes I was taking winter quarter SUCKED ASS! excuse my french. They all involved math (which I cannot do to save my life) and none of my teachers took attendance. This meant winter quarter began with a lot of skipping classes to sleep. It reminded me of my junior year of high school, except that was much better because I would go have sex in my car instead of sleep so I could stop crying.


I realize this is all sounding quite "emotional (aka emo)" and depressing, and so I wish I could turn around and talk about meeting some amazing person, or having the most funny party...but I can't. In fact things only got worse...MUCH worse.


It started out as a stomach ache, which lead to an unexpected but seemingly routine hospital visit, then January 26, 2011 my dear friend Kyle was diagnosed with cancer. 

Nineteen years old...the tears came before I realized what was happening. Nineteen years old...I thought about his girlfriend and one of my best friends Leah. Nineteen years old...and caught up in the fight of his life.


For days straight I listened to a list of songs that I listen to in order to tell myself people have been through things like this before. 


1. Heard the World- OAR
2. Last Kiss- Pearl Jam
3. Jumper- Third Eye Blind
4. Someday- Brett Dennen
5. Traveling Soldier- Dixie Chicks

This unraveled all of our friends in the WTF group. Each of us twisting and turning in our own different and sometimes strange ways.  We wanted to be mad at something...there was no way to comprehend how something like this could happen. We ended up mad at each other. I was away from home, stressed with school, a sick friend, and no support. This was probably the hardest time in my life, I'm honestly not sure how I made it through and I think I'm still not completely through it.


There was a few weeks that went by numbly. We cried, we got wasted, and we tried to forget.


Now the quarter is almost over, three weeks left to be exact. Kyle is back home still fighting, but fighting hard and strong! I've been trying to find the happiness that has left me winter quarter, and it's slowly coming back.


I've come to a point in my life that I realize life is short, and yes you should do what you love, but you should also do what is going to make the most sense. I've felt like I've just been dilly dallying my time in journalism, and I don't feel like working very hard at it to make it above all the rest. How is that for honesty?


My solution? Education. I love children, LOVE THEM! I used to pretend teach my younger brothers all the time. I'm stressed and I hope this quarter will just be over.


I'm sorry this wasn't a funny one, I'm hoping there will be some good funny times to come!