For those of you who are completely grossed out by the fact that "Emily eats ketchup on everything - including ice cream", BRI MADE THAT UP! I do not, in fact, eat ice cream with ketchup. That is like eating spinach cookies. Or Broccoli tarts. Just. Plain. GROSS.
BUT! I do love Bri Dearly! Even though she enjoys to spread rumors about the fact that I eat ketchup on everything.
OH MY GOODNESS. HOLD ON ONE MINUTE WHILE I GO FIX THE PRINTER...
Twenty minutes later... I was called a whore as I fixed the printer. OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
So anyway.............
I guess this is going to be a scatter brained post because I have a lot to cover: I just have two things to say/describe.
First, I'd like to tell everyone that Bri is the most wonderful roommate in the whole wide world. I mean... I could have been stuck with some crazy from Jesus town Ohio... But instead I got Bri. Bri is truly wonderful... She honestly is the best roommate ever. She leaves dinner with me while I bleed out through my nose, she laughs at most of my jokes, she is not mad at me for living in a sorority next year, she loves me despite my craziness, she paints my nails, and she is the most down to earth woman I've ever met.
(Many of you may think I am saying this because Bri's post last night... but as I saw her through her tears this evening... She seemed more worried about my nose bleed than the stupid girl she was crying about.)
And for everyone who has broken her heart... You have no idea what you are missing. Bri happens to be the most beautiful woman in the world. She cares so much for you, even if you've done wrong. Even if you break her heart a million times, she will always love you. You all are ass holes for what you've done. You will never get anything better than her.
**********************************************************************************
Next: I have a story about last night....
So you know how my roommate is addicted to boobs?
Do you also know that I am well endowed?
WELL....
Last night, as I was changing into my pajamas, I (per usual) warned Bri that my shirt was coming off. Instead of turning around, or replying okay, My lovely roommate decided to attack me.
Now, I am all for the love Bri decides to give me... But last night... it was a shit ton of love. She cornered me, and as I laughed hysterically and collapsed onto the floor, she groped me....
I started to whisper : RAPE!!!
Bri answered: ya! go ahead and call rape... who is gonna come save you....
I realized and stated: OH! right! no one here likes me that much.
We then collapsed into laughter.
Yup! This is my life and my DARLING roommate.
No comments:
Post a Comment