Guest Post - Eliza

Hello, Nightlife Readers, whoever you are! I am Eliza, and Emily is my better half. She invited me to do a guest post, and the at first, I couldn't decide what to post about, but recent circumstances have led me to the perfect topic:

Christmas Shopping.

Yes, I know that this is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year." And I'm not trying to be cynical about the holidays, but there are some things that are stressful. 

My mom, for example. I love her to death. My sister, my mom and I are all extremely close. However, my mom is a jokester. She likes to be snarky and sarcastic. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and her response?

"Stricter punishment for parole violaters. And... World Peace!"
Yes. She quoted Miss Congeniality. What am I supposed to do with that? 

When I pressured my darling 17 year old sister whom I love so very much about what she wanted, her response was "I like clothes and shoes. Size medium, and 7.5."

Thanks, sis. I'll get right on that. You're picky and hard to please when it comes to clothing and shoes, so this will be a snap. 
(I found a good gift for her at Target, but I won't spill here.)

Now to Andrew, my brother, age 25. He wants a gift card so he can go get a manicure. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, but I got him a giftcard last year. I'd rather get him something more personal... but we'll see.

Andrew says that his boyfriend Stephan loves plants. Plants? Plants seem like a weird thing to get someone for Christmas... Was he sure? Andrew said yes, yes get Stephan a nice plant! I am still hesitant, because I really like Stephan, and I don't want him to think that I didn't get him something personal or cheap... but ok, I'll get Stephan a plant or two.

(I found 2 very intriguing varieties at a local florist. Andrew assured me that Stephan will LOVE them, they are sexy, and will look great by their large bay window. I am still unsure, but I have confidence in my brother.)

My dad told me to get my future stepmom clear nail polish and bubble bath, because that is what she wants. Hmmmm. I am not sure how comfortable I am buying bubble bath for her. Can I stick to a book or something? You're really making me feel uncomfortable... No? No books? Alright... bubble bath it is. (I am shuddering internally.)

Family, I love you. And I love finding things for you (in retrospect). Can I ask one favor though? Next year, can you please give me straightforward ideas? Or at least come to me in a dream or something with an idea of that ever-elusive "perfect gift?"

I'd really appreciate it. 

Peace, love, and patience to all you blog-readers for this holiday season!

Why Is This My Life? - Emily

So true story... I've been hanging out with Al over winter break. He is actually really nice. I never thought we would be friends... But here we are about 2 months later and we enjoy each other's company. This blog post is not really about him...though it may seem that way in the beginning. This post is about how dumb some comments/situations can be....


One day I went to visit Al and here is how the scene unraveled: 


Emily walks into Al's house, kisses and pets the dog. Al meets her at the door. There is a quick embrace. Then conversation ensues. 


AL: Are you allergic to dogs?
EMILY THINKS TO HERSELF: Uh. I just rubbed my face in your dog's fir and I'm deathly allergic to dogs...
EMILY: No, But I am allergic to cats.


Al thinks for a moment. 


AL: Seriously?
EMILY THINKS TO HERSELF: No! I was just shitting you... I just wanted to see your face when I said it!
EMILY: Yes.


Slight Pause. 


AL: So What should I do?
EMILY THINKS TO HERSELF: Put the cats up to my face. PLEASE! I'm begging you.
EMILY: As long as I don't touch them... I'll be ok. I promise.


AL: Well... there's one good thing about all of this! My room is the only place in the house the cats cannot go!
EMILY THINKS TO HERSELF: Oh my god! Does it look like I care very much. Just don't let your cats touch me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Basically, this is not the only time I've had to deal with difficult people. Take Last month for example:


I received an apology letter from Tyler last month. I am going line by line correcting grammar and such. Because you should at least reread something you believe is so important. The statements in all capital letters are my responses, the bold is the corrected sentence.




I don’t expect you to response to this or,to be quite honest with you, read it at all. 
Honestly, I don't expect you to respond or read this.
BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE? BECAUSE YOU BROKE MY HEART, OR BECAUSE THIS GRAMMAR WILL BREAK MY HEART?


However, I felt that I just needed to get this off my chest. 
But, I just needed to get this off my chest.
NO COMMENT...


We haven’t talked in a while and I know that it is 100% my fault. 
DUH... OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT IF YOU EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT TALKING TO ME...


I guess I just wanted to let you know that I am still terrible sorry for what happened. 
I guess I just wanted to let you know that I am still terribly sorry for what happened.
YOU ARE TERRIBLE SORRY? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE. I AM TERRIBLE SORRY FOR YOUR GRAMMAR, AND YOUR PAST ENGLISH TEACHERS.


I would love to be able to be friends with you and be able to talk again. 
I want to be friends and talk again.
HAHA. FRIENDSHIP OVER ASSHOLE. 


However, I understand that, that may not be possible.  
However, I understand that it may not be possible.
YOU'RE RIGHT ON THAT ONE. I ACTUALLY COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE FOREVER AND NEVER SHED A TEAR.


I made a huge mistake and I admit it I fucked up real bad and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about how much of an asshole I was and how bad I feel about it. 
I know I made a huge mistake and I really fucked up. There isn't a day when I don't think about how much of an asshole I was.
UHHHH...RUN ON SENTENCE. THIS SENTENCE MAKES ME WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM YOU.


I never intended on hurting you and I am still sorry for what I did. 
It was not my intention to hurt you, and I am still more than sorry for what happened.
YA. SURE. THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY DID I CRY? 


It was not fair, nice, or necessary in anyway what so ever. 
My treatment of you was not fair, nice, or necessary.
RIGHT.... THEN WHY'D YOU DO IT?


I hate not being able to be friends with you. 
I hate not being friends with you.
YOU KINDA FUCKED YOURSELF OVER THEN....


Then again, I bought it upon myself. 
But, then again, I brought this upon myself.
YOU BOUGHT IT UPON YOURSELF? WELL I'D WANT TO RETURN THIS PURCHASE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BUT DONT FORGET THE RECEIPT! 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lastly, though I love my brother to pieces, sometimes he makes me want to smash his skull into a concrete wall. Lets take a few nights ago....


Because it was my birthday, I was treated to some sips of beer with my dinner. While I know from experience, that I can hold my liquor very well, my brother took a sip and continued to act like he was drunk the whole entire night. 


He swayed as he walked around the dog, tried to force me into thinking he was drunk, and he even took a shower at three in the morning. 


He was convinced he was drunk. Mind you, he is 160 pounds, to my 120 pounds. He is also full from a pasta dinner. 


Also I gave him a sip of the glass without beer in it. 


Why is this my life?

Trip TO Florida! - Emily

So I guess the blog has joined the mile high club since I am more then a mile in the air. I am on my way to the beautiful, breathtaking Florida. I am very excited to leave the bone chilling 32 degree weather for the nice hot and humid temperature of.... *drum roll* .... 50 degrees. FAHRENHEIT! Now don't get me wrong, I am more than excited to leave Cleveland for three days and have my grandparents spoil me rotten, but would it hurt to sit me next to a tragically beautiful man? Not that this lovely man who I have not said a word to this whole flight isn't wonderful.....


I guess I am going to finish this post with the fact that I hate the "no joke zone" rules. While I like to think of myself as a hilarious young lady, I am sure even MY jokes would not be permitted during a high security checkpoint. Instead of getting myself in trouble, I have decided to list the awful jokes I would have made while waiting in line for inspection.


1. As I passed through the metal detector, I wanted to look up at the guy and ask, "well... Did I pass?"




2. There were two TSA workers with the name Elliott... Are all TSA workers named Elliott?


3. Lastly, I'd like to thank TSA for taking every one's nail clippers. I was really nervous about her giving the pilot a manicure. Really. 

Day 6 - Emily

I want to go back to college. Don't get me wrong. I really love being at my house. I love crawling into my own bed that is not 5 feet in the air. I love not showering with shoes on, I love having my mom and dad at arms length, and I love seeing my dog every morning. BUT I want to go back to college.

Why?

FIRST, BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE DOES NOT RESPECT MY SCHEDULE.

1. I prefer to sleep until I absolutely have to get up. Cleaning is NOT an excuse. Neither is a meal. I will get up for three reasons - A. Something bad is happening or I am in danger. B. Class. C. I feel like it.
Vacation is called vacation because your mind is supposed to be vacant. Hence, VACATION.

2. I Pee every day at 12:00 AM. I have announced that fact. Everyone knows that I pee at the same time every day. SO WHY is someone in the bathroom at midnight? I am literally sitting here trying not to piss myself. This has happened for the past 6 nights.

3. I do not want to come home at 11:00 pm. I do not want to come home at 11:15. I DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME AT 11:30. SO WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME HOME AT 11:45?
Please extend my curfew past my sister's bedtime?

SECOND, SHARING IS NOT CARING

1. I do not want to share my princess coloring book with you. I paid for it. It is mine. My vacation. My relaxing time. My money spent. My crayons. My coloring book. MY PRINCESSES.

2. It was my idea to get a venus fly trap, Therefore it is my venus fly trap. DO NOT use the word WE when refering to MY venus fly trap. I am going to take care of him, not YOU. I am going to feed him, not YOU. I looked up ways to care for him, not YOU.

THIRD, I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE: SILENCE IS A VIRTUE

1. Just don't talk. I do not need to hear all of your stories from the past 12 weeks. I do not need to hear your voice all the time. I do not need to know how many days there are till your birthday. I do not need to hear the same story you told yesterday, twenty more times.

2. I am not a morning person. DO NOT talk my ear off in the morning. I will then, in return, be an absolute BITCH!

3. If I am going on a quick errand somewhere, unless you are also getting something, PLEASE do not come with me. I obviously want to make it fast, and you will only slow me down.

Let's hope the next few weeks are easier than this past one.

Home - Emily

First off, this title is very confusing. Where is home? Is home my house? Is home my dorm room? Is nome a city? A state? Well... Home is none of these things. I think home is where your heart is, so I have about 100 homes around Ohio, my friends and family. So I guess I should re-title this post.


House


I am now with my family. In my house. And life is SO different. Here is the top 50 list of ways my house is COMPLETELY different:


50. There are toilet lids
49. I can sit on the toilet seat.
48. I have my own room - This means unlimited naked time. I don't have to worry about a roommate walking in on my naked time. (BTW- Naked time is just being naked. Not Doing anything...)
47. There are no 2:00 AM drunks
46. It is FREEZING IN THE HOUSE - despite the fact that our Air conditioner is always on in our dorm room, the house - where the heat is on - is colder.
45. I can shower without shoes on.
44. The bathroom here is probably more dirty than the one at the dorm
43. There is no water pressure here.
42. I have to make an effort to see my friends
41. I have to share here
40. THERE IS NO FOOD HERE!
39. There is one bathroom-- not one with stalls
38. I can bring my computer in the bathroom without people judging.
37. My bed is less than three - four feet off the ground
36. THERE ARE NO MOLDY BANANAS IN THE RECYCLING BIN! (BRI!)
35. I have to drive places.
34. My dog
33. I have to put pants on to walk to the bathroom here.
32. If someone is annoying here... I cant just walk away and lock my door. I have to sit t through the whole thing.
31. The internet is slower than a snail's thoughts here
30. No one is up at midnight
29. I actually have to make my bed and clean my room...
28. I have to share things
27. Youtube is faster
26. I don't have to walk up three flights of stairs to get to my room
25. I don't have to lock my room's door
24. I don't have to bring stuff to the bathroom
23. Everyone spends four hours in the bathroom - And I need to pee....
22. No one laughs at my stupid jokes
21. I cannot listen to "fuck you" Really loud
20. I cannot listen to any music really loud
19. I cannot swear
18. I cannot text as I eat
17. I don't need to sleep with my computer - I can just put it on the floor...
16. I have no bean bag to sit on
15. I still need to pee and I cant because there is only one bathroom and the alarm is on.
14. "hooking up" with people is SEVERELY frowned upon.
13. My hair is always a problem
12. I cannot talk to Bri before I go to bed.
11. I cannot talk Bri into turning off the light at night
10. I cannot talk Bri into doing anything
9. Bri is not here
8. PEOPLE INTERRUPT MY PEEING SCHEDULE! (I still need to pee... I still cant get in the bathroom.)
7. My bed is bigger (barely)
6. The room is bigger (barely)
5. My best friends are at their houses, that are far away
4. Running and screaming down the hallway is frowned upon
3. Skipping places is frowned upon
2. I can walk around in bare feet
AND LAST -
1. I barely have a chance to talk let alone tell great stories.

Dance Like It's The Last Night Of Your Life

It's taken me so long to write and I have muchto say but this post is first up because it happend a few weeks ago.

I remember the night I met Kayla. I was standing in my room in my sweats and up to no good. My. Amazing hallmates and I had been dying to have a dance party and set to have it in Em and my room on Saturday. It was only thursday but I was already preparing, giddy with anticipation of the exciting night. One of Emily and my really good friends Jenna was having Kayla stay the weekend to see campus. Let me start by saying Kayla is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on...and here I was in sweats and I probably hadn't showered yet that day...great. Jenna walked out of the room at one point and to my surprise I felt really nervous and excited around Kayla but I couldnt figure out why. The next day after classes we all went to jenna's basketball game. While sitting waiti g for the game I playfully asked my amazingly supportive friends if there were any cute girls on the team. Kayla acted like I had completely misspoken "you mean cute guys..." no I hadn't but I dropped the subject.

Meanwhile somepoint late in the night after a week of reconciling with Raymond he called to tell me he'd had a lapse in judgment and that he drank even when he promised he wouldn't he became very upset and took it out on me while I was trying to support him. He hung up on me and I spent the rest of the night sobbing sure he had committed suicide. Kayla who barely knew me heard my sobs and asked if I was okay and if I needed anything, I told her no and eventually found sleep

It was the night of the party and I had even invited a super cute guy I was crushing on, I dressed up really cute and all my friends helped set up the room. After Missy Elliot songs, glow brackets and a lot of failed toasting, several people became intoxicated...mainly Kayla. She came and kissed me on the cheek and yelled at me when I went to have a smoke(since I don't really drink) and when I came back she wanted to snuggle. This is dangerous I thought to myself...she is gorgeous sweet and utterly drunk. I tried to keep my distance but my arms shook as i held her in a friendly way. Suddenly my friend Jenna told me Kayla was bisexual and she wanted me. At first I was sure she was joking, but she wasn't. Someday somehow Kayla and I started to hook up. It was amazing I felt like we were thinking the same things I will spare details, but this girl was amazing: www stayed inseparable till around 4 in the morning when I sdly had to go to bed in my own room by myself. Kayla came back in the morning, we snuggled held hands and talked, her smile was contagious, my cheeks were hi hurrying. Kayla left that day but we talked on the phone everyday that week. There was something about Kayla that felt like she belonged in my life, I could see myself dating her, bringing her home to meet my family. She hasn't had an easy life, I wanted to show her she deserved one, that I would take care of her. I began to fall in love with her, every song reminded me of her ever laugh ever time I laid in my bed. Yet her heart belonged to someone else. She want able to be with the girl she loved to a lot of circumstances I still dont know or understand. I wanted her to be happy and realized this girl could make her happier than I could. She insisted she couldn't talk to the girl and that right how she really cared about me. Kayla is my first girl love. she makes me feel so good about myself and I can feel her care for me even through the phone...

Week 10 Rants - Emily

Now. Lets just do this... Because it was bound to happen....

I love my roommate very much. In fact, I will miss her a lot over the break. I will also feel very sad when she leaves on saturday. And I hope she remembers this as she reads this.... Please.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE SEEN YOUR BUTT!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?


The average daily count is probably five. A DAY. I'd prefer not to see your butt.

BUT! 



Dear loving neighbors,

Do you know how disgusting it is to listen to someone have sex through a wall? Do you understand how much my bed rocks. How much I can hear you, and how much I DETEST HEARING YOU BANG AT TWO IN THE MORNING!

I dont think you do.

Please stop.

Love,
Emily

Last Week - Emily

As our first quarter of school has slowly come to a stop, Bri and I are studying our brains out for finals. I am official member of AOPII, and closer to graduating and getting a job. I think I'm just going to highlight this week.... After the little road bump on Friday night/Saturday morning.... I am fine. Andrew and I talked and we are friends. We figured that what happened on Friday evening/Saturday morning was a mistake, never to happen again. It was a pleasant conversation, one that let me get my feelings back into check, and realize that this is just another reason why I am not good at relationships. And why I should stop trusting people too much.


I went over Al's on Monday evening and we enjoyed each others company.


Also on Monday, Tyler sent me a message. He basically apologized for whatever he did to Ellen and I. I am not really going into details about this because it is a large and incredibly grammatically challenged conversation. I basically said that I would not trust him right away, but he could eventually build my trust up again. 


I think I made a mistake.


Honestly, you all knew how crushed I was when I found out what Tyler was doing. I was very upset and I even cried. I am constantly embarrassed that I cried over him, because of what he did. I am afraid to give him another chance. I am terrified that he will take advantage of me again. I am worried. But I guess I am stronger than I was when I last trusted him. And I refuse to let him use me again.


This whole week has been pull a prank on Emily week.


This means that everyone comes into my dorm room and plays a cruel joke on me. The first day I found Panda in the microwave. First off, WHO PUTS A PIG IN THE MICROWAVE? Second off, DONT PUT MY STUFF IN THE MICROWAVE!


*Side note. I have a Panda stuffed animal that I received at the beginning of the school year and I named him Piggy. So when I was gifted with a pig a week ago, I logically named him Panda. No one else gets this logic. Some people are not very creative.*


The second day, as I was soundly sleeping, my lovely roommate and my neighbor went through my whole underwear drawer and pulled out all eight of my bras, and stuffed them in the freezer. I did not notice this. I did not hear them. I woke up stated that I was hungry, stared at my neighbor, turned, and returned to bed as the stuffed my bras into a freezer the size of a shoe box. I did not notice the fact that my collection of bras were sitting in our freezer until I returned from the market with groceries. I opened the freezer and stared at the collection of bras in the freezer. 


FML


I had to pull them all out and thaw them. UGH


Today is the third day.... I am rather afraid of what they are doing today. I hope I survive this week. I may never sleep again.

The Biggest Mistake of My Life - Emily

Right now I am laying in bed, waiting for my eminent demise. I have not slept in two days, I literally ate two bites of my favorite brunch food, and cannot get any of my group project (due tomorrow) done. I have been staring at my computer for the past ten minutes trying to figure out what to do. I have cried enough to sink the titanic, and every time I think I've run out of tears, I cry some more. I cannot close my eyes despite my exhaustion because every time I do, I think of him. I cannot listen to music because every time I do, I hear him sing. I cannot glance at my phone, think about sports, or snuggle in bed without thinking about him. And the biggest mistake I've ever made.


The first guy I met and had a school girl crush on at school was Andrew. Andrew was wild, crazy, different. I loved the way he spoke his mind and told jokes that were really only funny to me. One day, I found out how Andrew was different. He did not tell lies. He was more and more truthful every day. I guess I loved that about him. After wrestling and fake fighting for a while, he came clean. Andrew's past girlfriend cheated on him for no reason. 


I was horrified. Andrew was wonderful. Not only was he hilarious, but he was so down to Earth, so kind, and so respectful. He stated that he had no trust in girls because of her. And I believed him. I would not trust us either. I later wrote him a message saying that I was very sorry for his past, and that I would never hurt him intentionally. I left everything at friendship.


A few weeks later I invited Andrew to a date party thrown by my sorority. I specifically asked him as a friend because I knew that neither Aidan nor Al would be O.K. with going to a sorority party. Andrew and I raced each other to the busses, sat together, danced together, and talked all night long. As we were leaving the venue, I looked up at the sky and saw so many stars. They were beautiful. Once we got onto the bus and sat down, Andrew and I got as close to the window as possible and I stared wide eyed at the beautiful stars. As I took in all of the natural beauty, Andrew would point out all the stars and name them. At this point though my whole body was tingling from his touch, I stayed calm and did not dare to show my feelings. 


After we got off the bus, we went to a local fast food place, and then to a different dorm where we talked for a few hours with some of the girls that were at the party.  Andrew and I talked some more, started to fake fight again, and even played basketball with an empty cup and a garbage can. After we finished, we left. It was about 2 in the morning then.


When we got back, I went back to his room to watch silly youtube videos.  We wound up talking for two hours about nothing, and I tried like hell not to touch him, and not to tell him how I felt. At about 4 in the morning, he threw a pair of his cheerleading shorts at me, and we watched Anchor Man. 


During the movie, Andrew was tickling my skin. He did not try to seduce me, he did not try to kiss me on the lips, he just rubbed my skin where my shirt was not. As he softly breathed, he kissed me on the cheek before we both fell asleep. We woke up at about 1 in the afternoon, intertwined, and he stroked my cheek and hair. Before either of us said anything he kissed me on my forehead, and I smiled. I asked him only one thing that night, and only said one thing as he asked me the same question: "Why is this happening?" 


"I don't know, but this was not supposed to happen."


I left at around 1:30 PM. 


Later that day, I realized that my feelings for Andrew had returned, and no matter what, I could not get rid of them this time. Now, as I lay in bed for the second day in a row, crying, I believe I've made a mistake. I cannot turn back the time and fix what I've done. Though I wish I could. 


I feel like utter crap. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot focus. All I can think about is talking to Andrew and dreading his responses to my simple questions. Though I know you do not read these things, Andrew, please, answer these two questions with pure honesty with no regards to my feelings shown above: 


Was that night really a mistake?
How do you feel?

Halloween - Emily

I am a strong eighteen year old woman. I attend the number two party school in the nation. And my school is the place to be during the week of Halloween. People flock from all around Ohio to just stay one night in the city, and celebrate a holiday based on candy companies and being someone you can never be.  Girls take hours getting ready to display their creative costumes, and guys cant wait to actually drink the beer that came out of the box they have spray painted black.  The school also makes an unbelievable amount of money charging guests who want to stay for the weekend twenty five dollars.  These guests will not take a shower or even turn on the lights. Instead, they will pass out on the cold tiled floor of their friend's cubicle... I mean room.  


I am a mixture of samhainophobic and maskaphobic. 


I am terrified of Halloween, which is rather ironic because I attend a school that lives, breathes, eats, and shits Halloween. More specifically, I am terrified of masks. I cannot stand next to anyone in  a mask. I cannot watch someone put on a mask. I cannot be near someone in a mask. It freaks me out. I begin to shake uncontrollably, and feel as if I am going to completely regurgitate the lack of food in my stomach. It could be because I want to know who is talking to me, or because I like to watch people's mouths when they talk. It could be because mask's mouths do not move, or even because masks deform people's identities. 


The last reason could be because of my past. When I was younger, My grandfather decided it would be a great idea to walk through our dark wooded backyard wearing a skeleton mask. It was alright, until I saw him peer in through the corner of my eye. I turned around to the large bay window that looked into the darkness of our backyard, and I saw a tall, stout man with a bloody skeleton mask. His hair was silver and down to his shoulders. He disappeared into the darkness. At this point I was screaming for my parents. The man jumped up in front of where I was standing near the window and I screamed. 


We still have that mask. Every year, one of my family members thinks that it is hilarious to wear that mask around the house. Every year I get more and more afraid of masks, and more and more sure about staying indoors during Halloween. 


This is my irony. This is my life.

Wasted Washington - Emily

Wasted Washington. Thats what they call us. I am not the one to go out every night and party. In fact, I'd rather stay in the dorms with some of my crazy friends.


I believe the night started at about 11:30 when a girl, who recently drank herself into a coma, was carried home by a few very nice men.  This girl was like a human doll. She was dead weight. If you were to completely scrape out someone's insides, but leave the bones and skin, fill the body with the same amount of weight as before, and use this new creation as a doll, you would have this girl.  I'm not going to say how dumb this girl is because she now knows never to go out alone and drink same amount as the large man besides her. I would just like to take the time to appreciate the wonderful people I live with.  Our RA's and RC are the most fantastic people I've ever met. They function in the worst situations on less than two hours of sleep. They must deal with at least twenty teenage girls or boys, talk to us about things that would embarrass our parents, and keep a straight face in times of severe emergency. These people are the strongest and most dedicated college students I've ever met.


Now back to the point, Wasted Washington.


That same night, our hall council decided to sell grilled cheese and hot dogs to unsuspecting drunks at two in the morning.  This went from midnight to three in the morning.  It began as a great activity, we were running around, getting orders ready, smiling, laughing, dancing, and glad we caught the waves of students high on our local drug of choice.  Then we had a lull. People were either too drunk, or too broke to afford our one dollar hot dogs or grilled cheese.


This all changed when Walker came downstairs. Walker is a very attractive, and now very drunk, resident of our hall.  Walker decided that because the food was very delicious and he was very hungry (partially due to the fact that he had nothing in his stomach because five minutes earlier, he vomited up all of his delicious cafeteria food).  Walker proceeds from the staircase to the tables and asks for a grilled cheese, we respond, and begin to make his order. In the mean time, he is talking up a storm.


He praises us on the condition of our grilled cheese. And we all giggle. Next, he figures out that we were playing the questions game.


*Side Note* The questions game is defined as such : Everyone who is playing will make up several questions to put in a bowl. The questions can be awkward, sexual, disgusting, random, or emotional.  Every person makes up as many questions as possible. After all of the questions are submitted, the bowl is placed in the middle of a circle, and one person draws a question.  Everyone in the circle answers this question, and then the next person picks the question.  This is repeated until no more questions are left in the bowl. *End of Side Note*


Walker then draws a few bad questions, and begs us to make up a good one for him.  So of course, someone yells out "sexual fantasy".


"Ok. Now. My sexual fantasy is to have a girl on me, and I'm laying down, and she's sitting up. And she has this box of Cheese Its. So she is sitting there, throwing Cheese Its into my mouth. And I'd be like, "Thank you Cheese It girl! Thank you!"


Yes. Someone actually said that. But it gets better.


As he is thanking us for providing him with his grilled cheese, he shakes everyone's hands, but then as he says goodbye, he decides that our hall is a hugging hall not a handshake hall. He hugs everyone around the lobby, and then gives us the following speech:


"While I have to go now, I'd love to be a part of this great club you all have. If your meetings are on Sundays at nine, just like you said, I can be there. Just give me a call. Just call Walker Anderson, and I'll be there. No. Call me once, No, call me twice. Because I'll be on my way. Good night. And good luck."


Before he returned back to his room, we all gave him a round of applause and he donated a dollar to our hall council so he did not have "itchy toilet paper on his tush".


I love college.

I'm So Bad Ass - Emily

I guess now is the time to discuss why I think I'm a complete idiot. While I may or may not be terrified of needles, I may or may not have just signed up to give blood, which I may or may not be disgusted by.  Oops. I guess this college thing has gone to my head. I mean, I just got absolute control over my life, and now I'm running wild. I'm wearing flip-flops in the rain, eating Triscuts for breakfast, sleeping over people's houses on a monday evening, and painting my nails dark colors.

I know these things to not seem completely badass to you, but they are to me.

Here is a play by play of my day before I give blood:

10:26 - I now have four hours until I conquer one of my largest fears ever.  I am hydrating myself. I have finished my glass of V8, about to drink the left over "Fruitables" juice box from last night, and maybe have another juice box before I leave for math class. During math, I plan on guzzling down two bottles filled with water. I am not really nervous right now. I think I am just concerned about having a developing cold when I give blood.   I have decided not to take any medication in fear that I may not be able to give blood.

1:10 - I now have about one hour before I run back to the dorm with just enough time to calm myself down enough to sit in a chair and give blood.  Again I do not feel terrified, I only feel like I really need to pee about every five minutes. So far I have had, V8, two juice boxes, one water bottle, one glass of lemonade, and one smoothie. I am working on my second bottle of water and my third trip to the bathroom. I honestly have never urinated this much in my life. I have no idea why one urinates four times in an hour after drinking a bottle filled with water, I don't want to know, but I do really want to surgically remove my bladder with a dirty spoon right now.

2:15 - I have t minus 30 minutes until I give blood. I have officially changed my pants, taken off my sweater, and attempted to calm myself down. I have checked online to make sure that I can still give blood. I have my iPod and license in hand, and I am ready to conquer the world.

I walked downstairs awaiting my future.  First, my neighbor went up, was tested, passed, and started giving blood. I was up next. After shakily walking up to the chair, slowly sitting down, and answering many questions about my health,  I was deemed a non viable blood donor.  Before you make assumptions about my health, I do not have an STD. I am not Anemic. My Iron is high. I have not lived out of this country. I have not slept with anyone out of the country.

I cannot give blood because I do not weigh enough.

So much for my new found bad ass attitude.

My Night Out - Emily

At this moment I know why I absolutely love the girls in my hall.  They are wonderful. They are fabulous. They are beautiful and they are patient.  After my wild weekend, they still love me enough to calm me down as I scream like a wild banshee up and down the hallways, stomp-dance my anxiety away, roll around on the floor like a young child, and talk like I've never said a word before.


I was acting like a complete invalid because instead of receiving about five days to prepare myself for a coed sleepover, I had about three hours. Now, coed sleepovers are very different than single sex sleepovers. When a girl prepares herself for a slumber party (All girls sleepover), she thinks about what she needs to get the best night's sleep in the least amount of time.  She thinks about what hair supplies she will need tomorrow, she packs approximately ten shirts, 4 different pairs of pants, two pairs of shoes and one sock.  Girls plan on what juicy gossip they can share with each other, what games to play, and what guys they want to marry.


A coed sleepover is SO different.  WHAT DO YOU BRING TO A COED SLEEP OVER?


After running from room to room debating and listing what to bring over to Al's on a monday evening for a sleepover, I had a full list of things to pack to take over. This is the first draft of the list, with various comments from my lovely floor mates.
     -Clothes for tomorrow
     -Pillow - "why the FUCK would you need to bring a pillow for? Its a sleep over. USE HIS!"
     -Flashlight - "You are not going to summer camp"
     -Underwear
     -Books for class 
     -PJ pants - "Are you just going to wear pants to bed?"
     -Shirt 
     -Contacts - "Aren't you wearing glasses right now?"
More comments about my list:
     -"With the amount of stuff you are bringing, you might as well move in!"
     -"Are you sure you don't want to bring a sleeping bag?"
     -"You know you have to sleep in your bra, right?"
     -"Wear your polka spotted underwear!"
     -Even though I only have one color bra... "Don't wear any of your nude bras!"
     
This is what I actually brought: 


A purse.


This is what I actually wore:


The same clothes I was wearing all day. A nude bra. And my Polka spotted undies.


I had a lovely night. Honestly it was the best night I've ever had.   I slept like a baby. 

I think the best part of the night was when I found out what was happening while I was asleep. I guess one of my neighbors called my silent cell phone this morning at 7:00. While I was fast asleep next to Al, Bri was locked out of the room. HAHA. Now. This is the second time. The first time was fine because I was in the room sleeping. When Bri decided to lock herself out of the room this time, I was in another dorm, completely unable to help her as she banged on the door in her robe. This is hilarious. This is the funniest thing I've ever experienced vicariously through my hall mates. 


So right now, Al and I are friends, with benefits. I don't know what I expect from this. I don't know what I want from this relationship.  Part of me wishes this relationship will bloom into something more than what it is now, but part of me wants to hold on to what I have now. I am extremely attracted to Al, and I don't think this relationship will end in the near future. 

Part III: Snake Bites - Emily

For those of you who are very confused about my use of a way to insert venom from a potentially deadly snake into a victim for a title might want to read the next paragraph. Those of you who understand when I use "snake bites" I do not mean the puncture wounds snakes leave when they bite a victim, you may skip the following paragraph, and continue reading.  


According to the urban dictionary website, snake bites are "two piercings just under the bottom lip: one on the left side and one on the right. They can be studs or rings, or even a combination of both. They are called snake bites as a snakes fangs puncture two holes next to each other, ie. the two holes through the skin under the lip next to each other. Snake bites used to mean two piercings next to each other anywhere on the body, but are now more recognized as the lip type as these seem to be the most popular."  


Before you ask; Yes, I just used urban dictionary as a credible source, and yes, I realize the passage is extremely grammatically incorrect.  Yes, I am dying to change it. No, I won't, no matter how many phone calls/posts/texts/messages I get.


So, back to the point. I am talking about snake bites because Aidan has snake bites. Aidan, now one of my friends, was sitting next door one day when I walked in freaking out about needing to look rather promiscuous for a social.  And there he was. (You need a visual here)


This man is about 6 feet and 2 inches of a punk rocker's dream.  He has muscles on his muscles, several piercings, and several tattoos in places which make me drool.  He wears tight shirts, tight pants, and a motorcycle. He has dirty blonde hair always hidden below a hat. He also has snake bites. It was so difficult to watch him click the hoops against his own teeth, when I knew his lips were a beautiful sensory experience waiting to happen.


And they were. 


A week later, Aidan texted me.  We had a light conversation about how life was and how midterms went.  I enjoyed the conversation. (I jumped about fifty feet in the air when I received the message...) We continued to talk throughout the day and he came over to hang out.  When we "hung out" we just really laid on my bed and hit each other for about a half an hour.  We decided we would see each other soon. 


Little did I know soon was about five hours later.


Five hours after we laid on my bed and hit each other for a half an hour, I received yet another text message from Aidan. In this text message, he basically invited himself over to watch How to Train a Dragon.  I guess I could say it was a good movie. But then I'd be lying. I could also say it was the worst movie ever made. And I'd still be lying. So I'll just say The first five minutes of the movie were very good. 


The night was very fun. I guess the irony of the night was the fact that Aidan regretted bringing our friendship to the next level, when he initiated the expansion of our relationship.  I guess the irony is that he's in love with another girl, a girl with a boyfriend, an abusive boyfriend.  I guess the irony of the next morning was the fact that he just wanted to be friends after we expanded our relationship above friendship. 


I guess the irony is that there is no irony. 

The Break Up

If I have there is any advice I would give now that I'm in college it's this...DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING TO GO AS PLANNED.


For the last two years I've pictured the rest of my life being spent with Raymond, well that picture was shattered when I realized I couldn't stay in a relationship that wasn't fair to me.


As much as I am going to miss him, and mostly miss having someone always there for me, but I'm going to use this opportunity to find out what I'm really looking for and most of all to live my life to the fullest!

So here on out I'm writing this blog as a single girl who hasn't been one in about four years! So first of all, I haven't made out with anyone in at least a month now so I would really like to find someone to do that with! Boy or girl I'm not sure, but I will defiantly keep you posted. There are a few girls on my radar, but I'm not really sure what their feelings are towards me. There is really only one guy I have any interest in, however, he has a girlfriend at the moment. SAWDY! haha


Alright thats it for now.


BTW- Emily left me last night for her coed sleepover...I stayed up till 3:30 eating Pringles and breakfast sandwiches and watching Wizards of Waverley Place.

Part II: The Juggler - Emily

One day during lunch I saw this man. I was trying to place him in my mind. He looked so familiar, I had to know him. I was thinking back to high school, extracurriculars, work, orientation, or anyone who asked me for directions and could still not place this man.  I eventually decided that I would probably not see this man again and gave up on trying to place him.  A few days later I saw him again, and a few days after that I saw him. After I stared at him for a while, he came over and knelt down beside me. He asked if I had ever gone to a certain school district. I immediately placed him.  This man kneeling beside me was in my third grade elementary class. He sat across from me, and we even played cards together at lunch.


"You're Al! I'm Emily by the way."


We ended the conversation with a promise that we would see each other again and use that time to catch up and become friends again. I agreed and he left.  After he left, I realized that I should have gotten his phone number.


About a week went by and I did not see Al.


Again I decided that I did not really care whether I saw Al again, though I know it would be an amazing conversation.  As soon as I decided to let go of looking around for him in the dining halls, he showed up once again.  I turned around and saw Al eating at the table behind me. I finally got his number.


I received a text message later that night asking if  I wanted to go out sometime. I agreed. It was really supposed to be a movie night. It was supposed to be a night between friends, It was supposed to be a night to catch up, and it was supposed to be a night of bonding.


Supposed to be.


I met him outside his hall, which happened to be the hall connected to mine through a staff office. I found this extremely ironic because we once lived in the same suburb, and now we live in essentially the same building.  But anyway, we planned on watching a nice comedy on a chilly saturday night.


(Before I go on, I'd like to go over a couple of things. First off, I did not plan any of what was going to happen this night.  I believed we were actually going to watch a movie and bond.  I believed that I wouldn't ever enjoy a man's presence again because of Tyler.  Second, I'm a prude. And I know you don't believe I would call myself such a belittling name, but I really don't touch men. I do not go around kissing, hugging, poking, prodding, or batting an eyelash at men. Before college, I rarely spent time alone with men, other than my boyfriend at the time.  I did not even think about "hooking up" with someone.)


I walked into his room, which had colored lights around the bottom of one lofted bed, a couch under the second lofted bed, and many blood infused posters.  His room was a very plain and organized place.  He did not have very many possessions, compared to his roommate, but his room looked lived in. It was a homey place. Despite the fact that there was a COUCH, we sat on the floor and talked for about a half an hour.  The conversation was a little choppy, but what do you expect? We haven't seen each other for over 10 years, we have no idea what we have in common, and, to top it all off, we never had any real memories together.


Al then had what I thought was a brilliant ice breaker; tell me the story of your first kiss. Innocent little me thought nothing of this strategic move on his part. I told the lame story about my first kiss and how my ex ex boyfriend (the farther away they get the more exes they get...) LOVED the number 22 and kissed my hands 21 times, and then kissed me to make 22. I finished my story, and Al began his.


Al's story was honestly the most romantic first kiss I've ever heard of. Honestly, damn.  I wish my ex ex boyfriend did something romantic like take me out on a romantic evening, or cook a dinner for me, or bought me flowers, or something beautiful before kissing my lips till they were raw.  At the end of his story, he seemed to get closer, but I thought nothing of it.  When he completed his story, he kissed me full on the mouth. *Please excuse my french here:*


HOLY FUCKING FUCKER, FUCKING BEST FUCKING KISS EVER.


After our nights of enjoyment, I shared with the girls back at the dorm some of what happened, I guess he was the first to get caught in my web. Definitely my favorite as of today.